Boris the cat

Meet my cat, Boris. He might not be the smartest or most graceful creature, but he is a cat and sometimes that’s enough. Here’s an intimate look at what he thinks about life.

We need to talk about your sleeping cat fetish, ya perv.

Why is it that everything interesting happens outside of the house, Chuckles?

I bet you can’t even see me, you scruffy-looking nerfherder!

Bugger off! I’m trying to nap, ya hairless ape.

It’s the next blockbuster: Boris vs Squirrel.

Go back inside and eat kitty litter.

I told you, knucklehead, if you wanna play you have to put on the mouse suit!

Do you mind, Pop-Tart? I’m trying to look cute here.

Do me a favor, hoser, put this next to adorable in the dictionary.

This is my bed now… enjoy the floor, Slappy.

Fetch me some hot cocoa while I watch Elf or face the wrath of my claws.

I’m the best gift you’ll ever get!

Is the picture art? Only if I’m in it.

I will steal your soul.

Do you mind? I’m trying to do word problems in my head.

I sell seashells by the seashore mother trucker!

Bring me a pillow, you hairless Yeti.

Now this is what I call Facetime.

Let’s play the Get the F out of my face so I can watch Bluey game.

My nap spot is wherever I want. Jealous much, turkey neck?

Who needs a view when you got me!

Psst, I wanna tell you a secret. Your breath smells like old tuna in a dirty sock. What, I mean that as a compliment.

Come sit down and lean your head back… I dare you, punkin’.

Being adorable is my business and business is good!

Here’s a scene from my new movie, ‘Cocaine Cat’.

Thanks for the bed. Now, go clean my litterbox, tough guy.

This is my seat now, meatball. Go fetch me a glass of milk.

I call this my Sphinx look.
Am I dead or just deadly cute?
Hey, why don’t we play tripping down the stairs? You can be it.
I need some more nip, man. You holding?
Don’t tell me where to relax, ya pansy. I lounge where I want!
I make uncomfortable and awkward look good!