Top 12 signs Summer is coming

Published by siroutlier_tt2i6p on

12. My Mom is done with her Christmas shopping. Good Friday is my mother’s Black Friday.

Done, now I can enjoy Memorial Day!

11. I watch the 1975 cinematic masterpiece Jaws. I mean, this is MY list.

Don’t like it, get your own list, ya hoser.

10. Here comes the sun. Thanks to climate change, it seems like every year the sun returns with a vengeance. Kinda like an upgraded terminator.

No sunscreen? Do you feel lucky, punk?

9. You’ve been thunderstruck! With warmer weather comes the almost daily thunderstorms. But, you can stand under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh.

F-You Thor… show off.

8. The tourists are coming! Those selfie snapping folks every local loves to hate start invading sleepy towns everywhere like a plague of locusts.

Say cheesy!

7. Vacation, had to get away. Hordes of tourist means it’s officially vacay season. Or as it’s known in my house, “Hello Disney, my old friend.”

Beach is the word.

6. Boom goes the Summer blockbusters. What we discovered in the 70s was that going to see a Summer movie was a great way to beat the heat and lose your hearing.

We’re gonna need a bigger theater.

5. Summer TV shows. What used to be known as rerun land is now the zenith of TV programming.

The channels, they are a-changin’.

4. Break out the Summer playlist. The songs of Summer are the perfect antithesis of Christmas music; radiant, sexy, and sweaty. Glory be to The Cars, and to The Beach Boys, and to Jimmy Buffett.

The soundtrack of a season.

3. It’s both the heat AND the humidity. It’s time to turn up the sweat glands to eleven and lower your hand because you’re sudoric.

What the hell does sudoric mean? Oh wait, I get it.

2. Flora and fauna and flies, oh my. The landscape’s palette changes from S.A.D. gray to vibrant green, and the bugs come marching in.

Anyone else smell like Hawaiian Tropic, Capri Sun, and Deep Woods Off?
  1. Schools out, pool in. Ah, the sweet aroma of cookouts, vinyl floats, chlorine, and freedom.
Hey, I asked for NO white people on my pizza float.

1 Comment

Charlene Hunt · June 17, 2022 at 12:19 am

I try to beat 2, 3, and 10 with 1, 5, and 6. I don’t succeed.

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