I like to think of the internet as the Mos Eisley cantina brought to “life”. As that infamous gaslighter Obi-Wan Kenobi once said, “You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious.” Or as my Darth MeMaw said, “A hundred screaming voices can Read more…
It’s vacation season (how did I miss that one) which brings immense joy in the planning and execution of, but also incredible sorrow and ennui from the ensuing after-trip doldrums. As I look back on my admittedly uneventful and meaningless life, some of my worst moments were those first days Read more…
Did you know there are more than four seasons? I mean, #duh, or how else is your boy going to come up with a top twelve around them. Only a patzer limits themselves to the four divisions of the year marked by particular weather patterns and daylight hours. We free Read more…
Before you come at me, I’m here to praise T-Swizzle, not to troll her. I honestly believe she’s a generational talent that is the closest thing we’ve gotten to the Beatles. To wit, she’s insanely popular, critically acclaimed, and has experienced phenomenal growth as an artist. And she’ll never break Read more…
Let’s face reality here, no school is ever going to invite me to speak at a graduation ceremony. None of my former educational institutions—my university, community college, vocational school, Bartender’s Institute, or the Edgar Cayce School of Clairvoyance and Radiator Maintenance— are booking moi as their keynote speaker. Yeah, I Read more…
Resumes, like healthy lifestyle recommendations, tend to change like the wind and for reasons that make little sense. I’m not even sure if the additional skills section is still en vogue. But if it’s not now, just hold on a few weeks and it will be back just like those Read more…
Time to get personal and lean into all those childhood issues my therapist has accused me of avoiding, like her bills. I guess I should’ve been suspicious that her “office” was in the corner of a Rooms To Go. And how she offered me an extended service contract on our Read more…
I want to contribute more to the internet than simply sharing a list of crap I like or random thoughts that ping-pong in my head. Anyone can, and usually, does that ad nauseam. Sure, it’s fine every now and then, kinda like eating a Hostess Ding Dong, but honestly, it’s Read more…
The decade of the 80s is one of those, “If you were there, you know” kinda deals. But even if you’re one of those time period tourists, you realize there’s just something special about the 80s. It was truly the last decade of innocence, or to be more precise, naivety. Read more…
You’re probably thinking, “Damn, he’s just phoning this one in.” Okay, maybe I’m getting a little lazy, but not as bad as my Uncle Phil who quit his job and is seeking disability due to an ingrown toenail. Tell me you don’t have your favorite months of the year along Read more…
