Top 12 things I miss about going back to school

Published by siroutlier_tt2i6p on

It’s rapidly drawing near, the deluge of first day of school social media pics. Admittedly, I hated school as much as the next analphabetic, but I still get a twinge of nostalgia when I see a back-to-school ad.

12. Field trips – Leaving school during school hours was a magical event. It didn’t matter where we went, whether to a rusty nail factory or a sewage treatment plant, we were just happy to be there… and not at school.

Not all who wander (away from the group) are lost.

11. Brand spanking new school supplies – There’s nothing like the smell of a new Trapper Keeper and freshly sharpened pencil in the morning. Even though these accoutrements were going to be used for torture, I was just so darned excited to get new stuff. “You want a new pillory and thumbscrews?” Yes, please!

Listen, do you smell something?

10. Extracurricular activities – I still fondly remember missing football games, school plays, and A/V club meetings. Okay, I do regret that I didn’t get more involved with extracurricular activities, but Facts of Life wasn’t going to watch itself.

I probably could have done at least one of… hold up, Small Wonder is on.

9. Honey Buns and apple pies – My school cafeteria, in its infinite wisdom, offered a plethora of Hostess goodies and those were a few of my favorite dulcet things. Ah, to eat young again.

The biggest mystery is why I don’t have all the diabetes.

8. P.E. – Here’s one course that I was actually good at. I might not have been able to solve word problems, conjugate verbs in Spanish, write coherent sentences, or even spell physical education, but I could dodge the hell out of a rubber ball.

Looking back, this really is a cruel and stupid game.

7. Those first day jitters – I was as jumpy as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs on the first day of school. Not being able to sleep the night before, due to my anxiety levels turned up to eleven, didn’t help.

The sequel in stores now: Froggy Goes To Therapy.

6. Snow days – Just the mere mention of the S word had us on pins and needles. And 9 times outta 10, it was disappointment city. But that 10th time was miraculous. Keep in mind, this is when climate change was just a myth, kinda like women love guys with a good sense of humor.

We had over 100 words for Snow-day.

5. That, ‘this year’s gonna be different’ fantasy – As you might have guessed, I was never the coolest cube in the ice tray. I was probably average, but I did dream that quintessential John Hughes dream of rising above my station and having the whole school adore me.

Who knew the dream about forgetting to wear clothes to school could end like this?

4. New clothes shopping – In primary school, it’s either dress to kill or be killed. There’s just something about a stiff pair of Levi’s, a Members Only jacket, and a new pair of Reeboks that made you feel like you could conquer the world… at least in Risk.

How were we so gullible? Well, at least we knew not to wear socks with sandals.

3. The Fall TV season – AKA bye-bye reruns. As I mentioned, I wasn’t exactly Jake Ryan, so there were many a Friday and Saturday night spent with the A-Team and the Love Boat crew. Explains a lot, doesn’t it.

Classic 80s television… so good, yet oh so cheesy.

2. Seeing friends – Sometimes distance, ride availability, and vacations, plus a tragic lack of social media, prevented me from seeing my old school chums during the summer. So, like with work friends, there were classmates that just didn’t exist outside the halls of academia.

I still wonder where some of those kids are today… or if they were even real at all.
  1. Counting down until next summer – For me, this began on day one! In between, I would count down to other breaks, such as Xmas and Spring. Come to think of it, I started off this list talking about field trips… maybe I don’t miss school at all.
I guess what I miss most of all is being out of school.

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