After a long, cold, and miserable winter, do we really need twelve reasons to love spring? Oh, we most certainly do you say? Then I guess you’ve come to the right place cause that’s exactly what I planned to do regardless of your approval.

Spring is a universal time of rebirth (or you could say resurrection—looking at you JC Superstar) and celebration as we bid old man winter adieu and say hello to young man Vernal Equinox, or simply, “Hey Vern” (you know what I mean, Vern). And yes, I might be going to burn for that dated reference, but Google Ernest P. Worrell, you can thank me later. For now, here are the undisputed reasons we should all give thanks for spring.

12. Barbecue season hath begun – If you’re a grill master unlike me, you look forward to this time of the year like a hobbit looks forward to second breakfast. It’s time to spring break out the charcoals, lighter fluid, and aprons that say, “License to Grill”. Ain’t no BBQ like a spring BBQ cause a spring BBQ gots the tomato gnocchi kebabs, grilled veggies, pineapple skewers, and of course, the meats! Apologies to Arby’s, but really, who eats at Arby’s anyway.

Winner winner spring grilling dinner!

11. Movie blockbuster weekends – Memorial Day used to kick off blockbuster movie season, but it’s quickly moved to March. This onetime dead period now sees the latest superhero extravaganza or umpteenth sequel to a beloved franchise drop around spring break. So, we can all go out to the theater and buy ridiculously overpriced popcorn and candy, drink a prediabetes amount of soda, and risk exposure to COVID or whatever chic, new virus is going round.

Did I mention Hallmark now has a whole slate of spring films?

10. Spring breaking bad – This is when students can finally see the light at the end of the academic tunnel. If you can make it to spring break, then you can (probably) make it through the semester and then dive right into your blissful reward of summer. So, go blow off an entire locomotive of steam and party like one of the drunken extras we used to make fun of on MTV Spring Break. All that hard work has earned you an intoxication coma.

I never went on “spring break”… but I did watch it on TV. Same difference, right? RIGHT?

9. Spring cleaning – At first glance, you’re thinking Whahuh? Shouldn’t anything revolving around cleaning be relegated to a reasons to hate list? Normally I’d agree, but I dunno, there’s something magical about decluttering one’s life during a time of revival. Do we really need that Color Me Badd concert tee? Or that industrial grade juicer that now only juices dust mites? Or that drawer full of old flip phones, iPods, tablets, charging cords, and Maxim magazines?

Why do all the grilling images feature men with their hairy arms and spring-cleaning images feature women in their fancy dresses? Hmmmmmm…

8. Love is in the air – According to A.L.T., “In the Spring a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love.” I don’t want to put words in his mouth, but it sounds like Alfie is saying guys get hornier during the months of May through June, right? Well, we all know that’s fake news. Maybe he means that nature’s resurgence sparks something deep within our souls that makes us more receptive to affection. Or more amorous. Or okay, hornier. I say, “Warm temperature leads to warm regard.”

Spring is also wedding season… you do the math.

7. The weather outside is weather – I am fully aware that climate change is a) real (#DUH) and b) a weather experience game changer, but this used to be the time when you could have snow one day and then hit 70 degrees the next. Spring is the only season that can run the entire climate gamut. It’s a lot like my Uncle Sebastian who we used to say, “If you don’t like his mood, just wait a minute… for the Old Milwaukee to kick in.”

What is it about a May thunderstorm at dusk that is so alluring?

6. So go outside and play – This was the mantra of every parent back in the day. Hell, it could be 20 below with 15 inches of snow on the ground and my mom would tell me, “Why don’t you go get some fresh (i.e., frozen) air for a while?” And a while usually meant until the sun went down, the frost bite set in, and the starving wolves came out. Well, now any parent can tell their child to go outside without fear of social services coming to call. Spring, along with its sister autumn, is when it’s not too hot and it’s not too cold, which means the perfect time for hiking, lawn darting, croqueting, and pickle balling (I still don’t know what that is). So long and good riddance to pants and jackets.

Also, it’s a great time to take your pets out to play… just remember to clean up after them or you’re going straight to hell!

5. Spring produces – With Mother Nature emerging from her yearly hibernation, we get an explosion of vegetation, lush greenery, flora, and leafage, leafage, everywhere there’s leafage. That’s all good and well if you’re into eye candy, but what about nature’s candy? No, not raisins you idiot, don’t drink big advertising’s Kool-Aid, especially regarding Kool-Aid. C’mon, you’re smarter than that. I’m speaking of fresh strawberries, blueberries, pineapples, avocado, lemons, and kumquats (and no, that’s not an X-rated superhero, it’s a real fruit you guttersnipe).

Now Rutabaga… that is an X-rated supervillain.

4. I love the smell of spring in the springtime – Research says we can smell better during the spring season. Add to that all the aromatic floral and herbage scents disseminating through the air and you have nature’s version of a Bath & Body Works candle. But isn’t it also allergy season? Look, I’m no spring scientist, so who am I to argue with their findings.

Smells like spring spirit!

3. You can’t beat the living daylight – Argue all you want about the pointlessness of daylight savings time, there is something inspirational about driving home from work with the sun still shining. Now, we have much more time (and outdoor space) for activities. Sure, more sun means more chance for skin cancer, but let’s focus on the positive here. So, go out there and bathe in that vitamin D creating ultraviolet and infrared light like you were George Hamilton.

OMG, spring forward… I just got that. Wonder why they say fall back though?

2. Easter is coming to town – Per usual, I will avoid the trappings of the religious aspects of this holiday and focus more on the secular and sweet-tasting confectionery. Cause that’s how we rolled (the eggs) in my house growing up. Whether you hid said eggs or the entire basket of goodies, Easter is a grand time for everyone… who wasn’t just crucified for your sins (like say gluttony). Dying said again eggs, gnawing on chocolate bunny ears, putting Peeps in the microwave, and watching B-rated animated TV specials pretty much encapsulates this time of year. And the best thing about Easter is you get a basket full of candy without having to go door-to-door for it.

Here’s an Easter conundrum for ya… which came first, the bunny or the egg?

1. Baseball and basketball play their part – I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t mention (American) sports, would I? My Darth Memaw always said, “Hate the player but don’t hate the game.” She was a little confused there at the end. But really, she’s not wrong when it comes to baseball and basketball. This is their season to shine. You get the aptly named spring training, March Madness, and the NBA playoffs—a veritable smorgasbord of sporty goodness—to enjoy. Now, if only Sporty Spice would answer my DMs.

There really isn’t a wrong way to do sports in the spring… except for maybe ice hockey.